Falling in love with a colleague is not an easy job. Especially not if you don’t know if they feel the same about you – or if they are already taken.
In love with the colleague
Some companies do not tolerate relationships in the workplace, while others are more relaxed. It is clear that guidelines (even unspoken) cannot control feelings. In that case, ways must be found to deal with the palpitations. Because love at work is really not uncommon and no wonder when you consider how much time you spend at work. What should you do now if you are in love with your colleague?
Signals of being in love
First, ask yourself if you are really in love or if you just get along well. These are indicators that you are in love:
- you have butterflies in your stomach when you see your crush
- you suffer from poor concentration because your thoughts keep wandering to him (or to her)
- when you think about the person, you just have to smile
- What you used to find cheesy, you suddenly find somehow not that bad anymore (maybe even very cute)
Tip: Here is the test: Am I in love?
Now the more interesting question is yes: is he in love with me? Of course, this cannot be said across the board, but these signs could speak for it:
- he is constantly looking for you
- he asks about you and what you do privately
- he would like to do something with you privately (maybe first under a professional pretext)
- if you (already) have private contact, he will answer you quickly
These are possible signals … But sometimes it just happens that we misunderstand them or attach more importance to them than the other person does. If a colleague confides in you, he or she may value your advice, but is not necessarily interested in you as a partner.
Confess your feelings to your colleague
Whether or not you should dare to confess your feelings to your loved one depends entirely on your assessment:
- Is he sending clear signals that he feels the same way?
- Could this have a negative impact on your work (e.g. if you work in the same department)?
- Is there a potential for conflict due to different hierarchical levels?
- Did you get to know each other better outside of your job and really have feelings for each other?
The dear colleagues are also not to be underestimated: the rumor mill is probably seething in every company and that is not particularly helpful if you can imagine a relationship with the colleague (even if that is not the case, of course). If you want to open up to your crush, do it discreetly, in private, and do not involve your work colleagues.
How to say i love you
Probably the hardest part: how do I tell him (or her)? If you are in love with a colleague, do yourself a favor and don’t hit the door straight away. Approach your crush slowly and most importantly: in an inconspicuous way. Go out to eat together in the canteen (or break room, in the bistro, …), maybe even first in a group, at some point just for two or meet for a coffee during the lunch break. If you have the opportunity to talk, try to talk about your private life (not too intrusively) (e.g. “Where are you going on vacation this year?”). So you can slowly get to know each other better and, if things go well, meet privately and spend time together. This also makes it easier to find out whether the other person has the same interest in you.
Do you think it is time to define what is going on between you, listen to your gut instinct and carefully approach your confession (so do not necessarily start with ample oaths of love or tell how you have already planned your life together 😉).
Relationship in the company: can it go well?
If the employer hears about a liason, it may well be that he is not particularly impressed with it. He could fear that productivity will be impaired and that the colleagues who are in love will bring their private lives with them to the company. Likewise, in the case of hierarchically different positions, one of the two could quickly be suspected of trying to obtain professional advantages with this relationship.
If the relationship is important to you, you should consider various solutions in this case, which can be: change within the company to another area or a complete change of company.
Unhappily in love
If they don’t reciprocate your feelings, you don’t have much choice but to accept that. Falling out of love with someone is not an easy process, but it is the best way to go. A “cold withdrawal” helps, that is, severely restricts contact and not see each other all the time. This becomes much more difficult if you work together in the same department, on the same floor or in a small company, as you constantly run into each other. An alternative strategy? Instead of admiring all the good qualities in the crush, concentrate on the bad traits …
The colleague is in a relationship
Not nice, but unfortunately true: if your colleague is taken, your chances are slim. Even if the person is unhappily married, they still hold onto that relationship. Unless there’s a final breakup (and processing time), your crush isn’t ready for a serious new relationship. So if you’re unhappily in love, you should get him out of your head quickly: with a new hobby, a new project, or a new date partner …
Dos and Dont’s – Tips for falling in love in the office
- Stay away from assigned colleagues
- For the time being, keep your feelings to yourself, don’t talk about them to colleagues at work, but to friends
- Weigh up whether it’s really being in love or just a crush that will quickly go away
- No love e-mails about the company account
- When you’ve found each other, there are a few rules you should follow about love in the workplace, such as B. To move couple gestures to private life
